Well … maybe not, but April 1st has always been one of my favorites. One reason is because I was blessed with a father who took great pleasure in looking at the inherent possiblilities for humor in any situation. He even went so far as to create Baxter University, a ficticious university … and university newspaper … and radio program, but that's another story. Anyway, I like it and have a lot of fun with it.
I have sworn a vow to Saint Simeon the Holy Fool to put aside foolishness and levity, to watch only Hannity & Colmes and nevermore laugh at the world. I am also compelled to display my past sins for all to view so that none may be deceived by similarly Wicked April Foolishness. Without further delay and in order of the False Joy They Brought Me, here are My Foolish Endeavors:
Fishtown Theme Park
Leland's historic Fishtown will reopen today as "Fish City" after a mega-million dollar upgrade by 4/1 Amusements, according to Leland Mayor Bob Schlueter. The theme park will feature the midwest's longest waterfall slide, seventeen fudge shops and the park mascot, Charley the Chub.
Backstory (the part that makes it funny): Fishtown is a historic icon, beloved for its quaintness … and about 20 people emailed me, outraged over the fact that this was being allowed to happen.
As every prankster knows, having your joke actually BELIEVED by the public is a huge bonus!
A close second is…
Stunning Cherry Discovery
DATELINE: BINGHAM, MICHIGAN Scientists from Lansing to London are abuzz at today's announcement regarding a new cherry finding by researchers at the Northwest Michigan Horticultural Research Station (NWMI Hort).
Cherries have already been found to benefit conditions including gout and arthritis, but now, according to NWMI Hort Station Coordinator Jim Nugent, research has unlocked a whole new realm of cherry benefits. "Our cherry research team has discovered that the Balaton cherry, when mixed with powdered zebra mussel shells, produces amazing levels of hair growth. We're calling it the FF Effect for … um … obvious reasons."
Nugent admitted station scientists were baffled by the fact that no matter the original color and character of the subjects hair, new growth generated invariably bears a striking resemblance to 70s poster girl and Charlie's Angels star Farrah Fawcett but said, "We have continued to refine our compound and have been able to generate hair resembling that of 80s hair band Motley Crue and are confident we'll be able to control the growth someday."
Be that as it may, one local company isn't going to wait. Leland Cherry Company spokesman John Vidergar told our reporter, "While we realize that research is continuing, this opportunity is too good to waste. In addition to a portion of the market for baldness remedies, we also expect to realize a significant share of the market for blond hair coloring." The company plans to begin selling Uncle John's Cherry Miracle Cream later this month.
Backstory: The Hort Station, zebra mussels and Leland Cherry Co are real and cherry folks are always trying to come up with a new miracle for cherries to perform. Meanwhile the Food and Drug Administration focuses on reining in their claims.
Links to More Foolishness
Sleeping Bear Awakes tells the story of what happened when the legendary Mishe-Mokwa, the sleeping bear of Sleeping Bear Dunes, woke up.
Pyramids Unearthed tells of a dramatic discovery made by a kindergarten class at Pyramid Point.
Strange Tourist is a dramatic account of a "tourist" who came from a looong way!
Leelanau County isn't the only part of Michigan to experience odd events. Click for 5 Amazing stories from Absolute Michigan!
I want to be clear that under no conditions shall I do anything this childish tomorrow.
Wow. I see that Wikipedia posted a hoax-by-hoax log of April Fool's Day 2006. My goal for 2007 is to Make That Page.