Bill Gates Touts Microsoft Wallet

BARELY NEWS SERVICE – Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates sketched out a vision for the future Wednesday in which aBill Gates Shows of the Digital Wallet cell phone will become a “digital wallet,” able to receive e-mail and even scan business cards, while computers, TVs and perhaps entire galaxies will merge.Our crack interview staff caught up with Gates afterwards:

BNS Reporter: You seem quite taken with this digital wallet. May we ask why?

Bill Gates: Money has changed very little in the last 500 years and is poorly suited for the modern economy. Our new Digital Wallet Enterprise Explorer Bills (DWEEB) will change all that. Let’s say you want to purchase an MP3 download from MSN —

BNS: Or iTunes?

Gates: (irritably) Whatever. Rather than having to pull out an insecure credit card and enter the numbers for God knows who to see, you just pull out a couple of DWEEBs, type in the 16 digit “activation code”, and bam, you’re poppin’ to 50-cent!

BNS: How come the bills have your face on them??

Gates: Just a prototype. They could have anybody’s face. The important thing is, we’re providing a platform that’s global and that business can trust. The really exciting part is the fact that each bill has upgradeable flash ROM and fully integrates with Office, meaning that people will be able to get the same immersive experience they’ve come to expect from Windows.

BNS: What are those little bumpy things at the top corner.

Gates: (mumbling) CONTROL-ALT-DELETE

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